Frida-like, encased in gauze and dangling tubes, it is wrapped as a gift. Inside: my life. I can look at it now. The first sight made me inconsolable. Gene whispering "This scar is a gift, don't cry."
I know. It saved me. But I was questioned so many times about my choice for no reconstruction. By my doctor 5 minutes before surgery, by those close to me, and by strangers. All saying: "you might wanna do reconstruction later." And I looked them in the eye and I said: No, I don't.
Even the visiting nurse that is coming to the house to treat me said : "I am curious to see your incision. I've never met a breast cancer patient that had no reconstruction before."
My no to reconstruction felt like a very lonely answer. Until my dad called me this morning and said: look at the cover of the NYTimes. It has an article: 'Going Flat' After Breast Cancer. And I hang up the phone saying: "This is a gift". My no doesn't feel so lonely anymore.
You can read thes article "Going flat" at http://nyti.ms/2dWD0Sx