I took the rest of the week off. In 48 hours, I'll have seen 4 different specialists. I'll have brought family, friends, confidants and my beloved also into council. These are people who either know my body inside out, or my soul inside out. They know me biochemically, energetically and emotionally. Because I realized I was mistaken. When you are making a life and death decision the consequences are not absolutely and only yours. Those who love you are right there beside you. So I asked the specialists for numbers. "There is a 5-8% reduction in reoccurrence if you take this drug." Not a very impressive number. But when the one you love looks you in the eye and say: I'll take even 1%, what do you do? When those holding you tight in so many ways and from so many perspectives are all saying: "so you are not even gonna try it?" It's a fair argument. Walking back on my word is a hard pill to swallow. But it's one I am willing to take. Because I love you.
